How to Take Action Before You Feel Ready

00:00 — Stop Waiting to Feel Ready

Announcer: You're listening to underestimated the podcast that helps overwhelmed small business owners turn their size into their unfair advantage So they can grow without burning out. Now, here's your host.

Shawna: Shawna Suckow. Have you been standing at the edge of something that you have wanted to do for years? But you just can't seem to figure out how to take that leap of faith. This is the episode for you I have with me today. I'm very fortunate. She's my friend and We've known each other for years and in fact Deepak Chopra actually brought us together, right Monica?

Monica: He sure did. He doesn't know but he did.

Shawna: So my guest today is Monica Graves Garcia and I'm gonna read her bio She's a speaker of facilitator and founder of Soulbare Wellness She creates immersive experiences that help people get out of their heads and into their hearts and reconnect with the fullness of life Drawing on two decades of study teaching and lived experience across cultures.

Shawna: Monica's work blends timeless wisdom practical insight and just enough sass I know this to be true to keep things real her invitation is simple stop postponing your life and start fully Participating in it and I want to start Monica by saying well, first of all welcome and thank you for being here.

Monica: Thanks for having me Shawna. It's so awesome to sit down with you for this conversation. Yes, me too.

Shawna: I'm looking forward to this But first you have a fun fact about you and that is I think we share this you have a built-in Laser level in your eyeball so you can like look at a picture and hang it with the 99.9 percent accuracy of.

Shawna: Having it be leveled mine isn't as much leveled as centered. Mmm. Oh, yeah center to yeah center to.

Monica: Yes It's just that that precision in there I it can tell if it's even a half of a millimeter off And I think it's something that most people can we feel when things are a little bit off or they look a little bit off.

02:00 — Why Wellness Can Make Us Afraid to Be Human

Monica: But we can't quite put our finger on it, but I have that that perception it just say like this. Okay now it's perfect.

Shawna: Oh my gosh. Yeah, see we we just moved last month and we're hanging stuff now and It yeah, it's it has caused some Disagreements until like the tape measure comes out and then he's like, oh, yeah, you're right. I'm like, I.

Shawna: Right, like I could have told you that So the reason that I'm having Monica on the show today It came from this post that she made on LinkedIn a few weeks ago called. I'm just gonna say it You were more polite on LinkedIn with the asterixes and the well-placed exclamation points where eyes should go.

Shawna: But that was a whole premise of it and I know my listeners being small business owners they probably have said one of those words in the last hour because they're small business owners and things get frustrating so tell me what led you to posting that and.

Shawna: Yeah, start with that.

Monica: Absolutely, and I will say that I was not that polite on Facebook where it is a slightly different audience.

03:12 — The Moment You Stop Holding Yourself Back

Monica: It's more personal because I that's the real real that's the reality of being human and I have been in the realms of spirituality and wellness and human consciousness and self-development for two decades now and I Love the.

Monica: Cornerstones and the foundations of these teachings. I do have a sincere reverence for the sacredness of where these traditions come from But at the same time I've sort of I've seen this pursuit of spirituality and this pursuit of wellness take a turn into Creating these conditions where we're strict on ourselves of how we're meant to behave The things that we are meant to be doing right how we're meant to be showing up and in this pursuit of being more.

Monica: Spiritual it's almost like we've become more afraid of being human and just embracing all the messiness embracing all the reality Embracing the ups and downs and so when I am working with my clients, especially in my one-on-one conversations I am very apt to drop an f-bomb.

04:14 — Curiosity Can Be Stronger Than Courage

Monica: I am very apt to just call it like it is and really push people into that moment where there there is a little bit of Friction, but that's what pushes us out of our comfort zone and helps us to achieve the things that we've been wanting to achieve.

Shawna: Yeah, because life isn't a comfort zone. No, no, definitely not. Yeah, she make bumper stickers. We should make merch. Let's make some Make merch. It should say f your comfort zone. Yes So what there's something going on in your life at that time that or was it a client like what what led to you going?

Monica: Okay, I have to share this. Yes. Yes. I mean, I think just every once in a while I like to pull bits and pieces from come real conversations that I'm having with clients for you know A post or an email to help kind of shake people out of their their norm and get them thinking a different way But I will say, you know for a little bit of context the the f*ck that sh*t in that post wasn't necessarily about like.

Monica: Oh, this is just all a mess. Forget about it. It was really about looking at the.

05:15 — The Danger of Comfort and Safety

Monica: Reality of what that client was wanting to create in her life and this goes back to what you were saying at the opening of the podcast of like standing on the edge of something that you've Been wanting to do for years and not quite taking the leap And so we had this conversation surrounding like there has to come a moment where you say forget this.

05:32 — Hiking the Grand Canyon Without Training

Monica: Nonsense forget the fear forget the naysayers forget me holding myself back from reaching my full potential and Experiencing the fullness of what I came here to experience like I'm not gonna wait around any longer I'm going full send and just letting myself have all of the things that I desire. I.

Shawna: I love that and one of the things that I just I've been drawn to you now for probably at least 15 years And I mentioned briefly that we met because of Deepak Chopra. We met at a conference I won a package you were working at What was it called the Deepak Chopra Center or the Chopra Center the Chopra Center for well-being in Southern, California?

Shawna: Yeah, nice and about seven years there. You know what you're talking about you learned from One of the masters so talk to me about where you find that courage because you are as I was saying one of the things that draws me to you is you are this.

Shawna: Spiritual nomad you are a a physical geographical nomad right now as we speak you're sitting in Panama where you lived before and You just got back there a few days ago. But where do you find the courage to just say f*ck that sh*t and do the thing.

06:49 — The Mantra That Gets You Moving

Monica: Yeah, you know, it's interesting I've thought about this over the years because I know a lot of us talk about these words like courage and bravery and.

06:59 — What Happens If You Fail?

Monica: Resilience and grit and like leaning in and doing the thing and I think to a certain extent those qualities and characteristics are important.

07:03 — Why Everything in Your Story Serves You

Monica: And they're true. And if I look at sort of the underlying motivator for me, it's really about curiosity It's like what would happen if one of my favorite things to say when I'm standing on the edge of something And I'm not quite sure how I'm gonna make it happen I say and for my next trick.

Monica: Watch me sell everything and move to Guatemala and learn how to speak Spanish living with the Mayan family and for my next trick Like watch me do this and it brings this playfulness into it. Like I want to know how good can it get? I want to know how deep can my relationships be? I want to know that I can really push myself to figure things out along the way without needing to.

Monica: Control every single detail before I feel like I'm ready, right? Like I want to take the step take the plunge and then learn as I go and Maybe that is kind of tied to being an absolute nerd. Like I love school. I love learning I love challenging my mind and seeing what's possible.

Monica: And so I think it just comes from this sense of adventure and curiosity to Again experience the fullness of what this life can be.

Shawna: You said something Wonderful. You said you like to do it before you're ready Murdered along the way like if you wait till you you're ready to have kids you won't ever have them or if you wait till You're ready to do this or that.

Shawna: So for people who are bound to control and safety What's the danger in comfort and safety? Oh.

08:34 — Staying Present When Things Get Hard

Monica: My gosh, I mean, I think the danger is is a life unlived of Not knowing what is possible and what we're capable of and I have sort of the perfect example of this when I actually left the Chopra Center was in 2015 and.

Monica: That is when I decided to sell everything and moved to Guatemala with a backpack Which was shortly after you and I met and so I had this wonderful like several months of gap before Left on my trip and my brother came to visit me in California So we planned this road trip through the national parks on the west coast.

Monica: We wanted to go to Zion we knew we wanted to hit the Grand Canyon and a couple of other things and We had sort of a couple of days where we were deciding what to do with our itinerary And we were sitting around my living room in San Diego planning this trip and we both kind of looked at each other and said Well, what if we hike the Grand Canyon?

Monica: And we're like, yeah, why not? Like let's hike the Grand Canyon, which was you know, five days from this moment that we were talking about it Something that people spend months and years planning for and we said well if we're gonna do this We definitely need to be able to stay in The Phantom Ranch down below because we don't have all of the gear to sleep and camp and we certainly aren't gonna go down.

09:42 — Why Business Owners Need a Sounding Board

Monica: And up in one day So we call Phantom Ranch again a place you normally need to make reservations for years in advance And they just so happen to have one female bed.

09:56 — You Cannot Control Every Step

Monica: One male bed in the dorms available for the night that we were going to be passing through So just five days before with zero training. We decided to hike the Grand Canyon Went down had the most amazing experience and I will never forget this because we drove around from the north side to the South Rim And you if anybody who's driven on the South Rim of the Grand Canyon going east to west.

Monica: You know, there's a lot of trees and and greenery and every once in a while it opens and you get that vista That vista of the canyon and I was driving and my brother had the map and every so often when it opened I said does anywhere on that map? Does it say what the f*ck we're about to do? Like what is this? This is crazy So we go down have the most incredible journey the incredible night and coming back up was.

10:36 — How Failure Shapes Your Capacity

Monica: Really really hard. I mean we were not prepared for this physically But we were prepared for it mentally and we developed this mantra on the way back up Which was all you got to do is just do it all you got to do is just do it one foot in front Of the other all you got to do is just do it like we know there's an out.

Monica: We know we're gonna get there. We know that our bodies can take us on this path and And we did and so that mantra has really served me in so many ways Since that moment when I have an idea when I have a dream on my heart when I'm.

11:11 — Wellness vs. Wholeness

Monica: Working with somebody and sort of realizing their own dreams on their hearts Like all you got to do is just do it one step at a time.

Shawna: But what if you fail?

Monica: Then you do and you learn and you grow and You discover something really remarkable about yourself And I think that that's part of the human journey, too.

Shawna: Let's let's apply this to business. So You have a phrase that you hate Let go of that which no longer serves you yeah Tell me about that and then we'll shift and talk to about business.

Monica: Yeah, this phrase drives me absolutely insane if I could do away with any phrase in the self-development industry It would be this and it ties directly to your very poignant question of what if you fail Right like even that failure is a learning. This is not new. We all we all understand this intellectually and conceptually and I believe the same is true for anything else in our life.

Monica: You know, we have this idea that oh this this relationship no longer serves me I need to let that go this way of thinking no longer serves me I need to let that go and in that process of needing to let things go to become more whole to become more aligned I believe that we are rejecting a fundamental part of our story.

Monica: We're rejecting a fundamental piece of who we are and saying this isn't good enough Like this doesn't get to be a part of the story of who I am and it creates Separation and so I I mean, I guess to be a bit contradictory. I reject rejectionism I think that every single thing in our life is there to serve us to guide us to give us insight to.

Monica: Teach us what we do want to teach us what we don't want to help us understand how we desire to be in Relationships and in work and in the world for for better or worse, but it's all data It's all information that we can use to make more conscious choices the next time around And so I believe that everything is there in service to.

13:17 — Caring About Employees Beyond the KPIs

Monica: Writing the great story that is our lives.

Shawna: Yeah, including our failures. Maybe absolutely our failures.

Monica: Absolutely. Absolutely. I mean, nobody says that movie was so great unless there was a moment of conflict and tension.

Shawna: Ooh, that's good That's good, right? So, um, but when you're in that moment of conflict and tension, it's so hard to maybe See that things are possible. So what do you do when you're in that kind of space?

Monica: Yeah, I think it really comes down to Developing a practice of being present with What is This is an interesting.

Monica: It's an interesting conundrum that I see going on in the world of wellness I mean we've talked a lot about spirituality and self-development But a big piece of the work that I do as well is is around wellness And I think that that word has become a little bit misconstrued.

Monica: Where We have this concept that everything needs to be good and feel good and if it doesn't then something's wrong.

14:28 — Move From the Heart in Business

Monica: And we need to very very quickly Right revert our attention revert the situation back to like feeling better and What happens in that process is that we often reject?

Monica: Just a deep attention and presence with exactly what is With how we're feeling with where things are Are becoming tense in our communication with where rifts are being formed in our relationships.

Monica: And we kind of try to reject or suppress or deny that Something isn't quite right that there needs to be this little tiny millimeter of adjustment Like we were talking about with the picture frames.

Monica: And so I think the more present we are the more aware we are the more open we are to say let's together Take a look at this and figure out what does need to be adjusted adjusted. Where have we gone? array.

15:27 — Monica's 10-Year Guatemala Retreat

Monica: And be willing to be curious enough to let solutions arise and work through it together I believe that that is where our greatest our strengths become to develop as people and within our relationships.

Shawna: And so for small business owners so many of them are Solopreneurs or they are you know, it can be a lonely business. So when you say We need to work through that Um, I think everybody needs a mentor or accountability partner or a coach.

Shawna: And that's where you come in i'm just going to do a plug for you because So many ceos or owners or founders they don't have that That person that they can just unload who will help them just be present and sit with You know, whatever it is that they're going through.

Monica: Yeah, not just try to ignore it or move past it But yes, absolutely. We all need a sounding board to help get out of our own mind and really See what we can't see Yeah.

Monica: That's where a lot of our attention comes from too Like we've been taught to control so much about our lives and mitigate risk and plan ahead and Be able to account for every single step that is going to happen along the way And a lot of fear and discomfort comes when we are faced with the reality that we cannot control everything.

Monica: We can't really see where we're going. We know the direction But what happens along that journey is going to be a surprise to all of us And the best thing that we can do is not to try to control it harder and get one step ahead of life But develop the tools develop our character enough.

Monica: That we know who we're going to be in every single moment and that's where our strength comes from.

Shawna: Oh, that's good. So your failures Don't define your character They may be um influence who you have the capacity to become.

17:25 — Cats or Dogs?

Monica: Yeah accurate I would agree with that statement for sure. I think it's our ability to meet life Well Right not that we avoid the discomfort not that we avoid the hard truths the hard conversations the failures the moments of growth.

Monica: It's that no matter what happens we can meet life well.

Shawna: Right Uh, you said something There's a difference between wellness and wholeness. Tell me about that.

Monica: Yeah Yeah This is it's an interesting concept. And again, I You know the wellness industry is getting so many things right right now and it's very exciting the year that you and I met.

Monica: Was it back like 2013? Was The first time that I had ever been to IMEX You and I were at WEC together and you know these huge events.

Monica: And I kind of felt a little bit like a unicorn. Nobody was talking about wellness and certainly not a mind-body spirit You know holistic type of wellness if they were it was nutrition and running and that's about it so We have made.

Monica: Strides With taking things that used to be very fringe and sort of bringing them into the norm bringing them into the conversation Where things have gotten a little bit off track from my perspective right now Is that wellness has become one more thing to be good at?

Monica: Like we you know We took something that was really meant to liberate us from our striving and bring us into presence Bring us into joy and have turned it into another thing to become a little bit neurotic about The perfect routine the perfect amount of steps the perfect food.

Monica: The perfect way of doing things and then on top of all of that Not only does the routine itself need to serve a purpose But the reason why we're doing it in the first place is so that we can have this outcome of performing more working harder.

Monica: Extracting at a deeper level and We sort of have this notion that wellness means goodness and.

Monica: I think that wholeness is an opportunity to broaden that Definition.

Monica: Into embracing all of the aspects of who I am When I'm whole when I can truly meet life. Well and be here. Well, I I love myself. I know my worth I'm seeing and valued and heard If i'm having an amazing day and I hit all my steps and I ate perfectly right and my KPIs are off the roof.

Monica: And i'm also seen and valued and heard and loved and appreciated if Shit's hitting the fan and i'm really not well and you know My heart is broken and i'm tired and I didn't walk at all this whole week Like wholeness gives us an opportunity to let every single aspect of who we are.

Monica: Into the room And know that it's in that totality of our humanness that that we can be celebrated.

Shawna: There is no division like everything important about you is allowed in the room You have always been just so far ahead of Mainstream wellness and spirituality. Yeah, we were we were such babies not not you and I but.

Shawna: The rest of us those conferences that you mentioned for those who aren't familiar those are in Like the convention and meetings planning industry where monica and I met And um, yeah, it was so new then and now you're right in so many Companies it's become a checkbox. Oh, yeah, another half to do.

Shawna: And it it's Stressful like oh my gosh, I didn't meditate today. Oh, no or whatever You know this this practice becomes too heavy to be meaningful and.

Shawna: Um, you just have always been so far ahead of Mainstream and how you look at that and how you give us permission To just still show up Even if you didn't check all the boxes that day or that week.

Monica: Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely And I think there I see another evolution that is happening in the come from place for Organizations and conferences and events and even in our own families and communities where You know and we're not quite there yet because i've had a little bit of conversation and people look at me sideways.

Monica: They're like, well, what about the KPIs? What about the bottom line? And certainly those things are important, but I think we're we're getting ready to shift the conversation from What can I get more of from this person if they are participating in wellness activities? To I care so much about who you are as a human being that I want you to have access to things that.

Monica: Fundamentally make you more well in your body in your mind in your heart in your community And as a natural consequence of that you're probably going to do a much better job at like being a human and being an employee Here and that's amazing But that's not the motivator the motivator is this fundamental human to human caring and connection.

Monica: And letting that have intrinsic value all on its own Regardless of what comes as an outcome from that and and we're getting there and I see a lot of You know buzzworthy articles and things coming out now It's like the connection economy and the attention economy and I think that that's great.

Monica: But i'm ready i'm ready and i'm excited for us to stop pairing those words Together it's not a connection economy. It's connection because I care about you as a person And then from that let's do awesome work together.

Shawna: It's unfortunate that Everything has to have a measurable business value Right now in order to be.

Shawna: Considered valuable in the overall scheme of you know Where do we spend our dollars on our employees and whatnot? So if you had one piece of advice for somebody who owns a company and.

Shawna: Has the power to integrate these things? What would you say to that person?

Monica: Only one.

Shawna: Yeah, you can you can give a couple.

Monica: Yeah I mean I it really is just that encouragement to And this is gonna sound taboo for a business person, but Listen to your heart move from the place that feels right to you.

Monica: That allows you to create spaces that people love to be in where they care about one another And they want to contribute to a project and a mission and a vision that is bigger than themselves move from the heart space And trust that all of the numbers and the metrics are going to.

Monica: Come out in the end because it is inevitable It's you know, it's the same thing that we tell people who are wanting to develop a meditation practice And they say well, I just I can't sit still I can't quiet my thoughts my right hip always falls asleep My dog always barks. It's really challenging for me to be present. I don't think that all these benefits are available to me.

Monica: I don't believe it And we say all you have to do is sit down close your eyes be in the practice And it is measured time and time again that the benefits are inevitable And so can we move from just the love of the practice?

Monica: And and trust that the results will come without needing to get so caught up in proving that.

Shawna: That's that's pretty amazing so You have something cool coming up Talk about your 10-year anniversary.

Shawna: Event that's coming up.

Monica: Yes, yes, so I mentioned that in 2015 I went to Guatemala with a backpack and the reason why I headed to that country Is because I wanted to discover sacred sites to host retreats My sort of formal study come from the vedic tradition of india and and that region of the world eastern philosophies And once I sort of had a solid educational foundation there.

Monica: I felt this pull to learn more about the Mayan cosmovision and Mayan culture and what's going on in Guatemala and that part of the world. So I went to this incredible lake. It's called lake atitlan It's actually formed by a sunken volcano surrounded by volcanoes.

Monica: And not only is the Mayan culture alive and well, it's this living breathing colorful culture But there is a lot of spiritual practices and teachers and facilitators that are there As well, and so I started hosting retreats in 2016.

Monica: In Guatemala and this is the actually no 2017. Sorry january. And so this is the 10-year anniversary retreat January 2027 and it's an opportunity for people to really as we've been talking about get out of their heads Into their hearts reconnected with the magic of life with spiritual teachings with a completely different landscape than you are used to being around To help access new ideas a sense of adventure a sense of curiosity and just fall in love with life again.

Monica: Um, the lake is the absolute best setting to do it in.

Shawna: Oh my goodness. And so when is this and how can people find out more?

Monica: So the retreat is january 2nd to the 9th of 2027 The website is soulbare.com. That's S-O-U-L-B-A-R-E dot com slash wisdom.

Monica: And we are down to our last two rooms. I'm very excited So if anyone's listening and interested i'd love to chat more and tell you all about the experience.

Shawna: And who typically joins you on these this is like a smaller group. So it's very intentional, correct?

Monica: Yeah, it's a very intimate experience maximum 12 people And I would say it, you know, it certainly ranges but a lot of the guests are between the ages of 20 I'm, sorry 35 and 65 It's open to men and women and I find that people come on this retreat when you know life looks good on paper.

Monica: They're generally, you know, they should be happy and pleased with the way things are going But they've lost that spark They've lost that sense of magic and wonder and they want to rekindle that in in a completely different environment And so we get a lot of folks that are just open for growth and expansion.

Shawna: Being from minnesota. I could say that is most definitely a completely different environment to go to Guatemala in january.

Monica: Oh, yeah, absolutely. It's beautiful and it's their springtime Well Guatemala in general is known as the land of the eternal spring. It's always beautiful But january is the high season. So the weather is absolute perfection. Oh my goodness Yeah, come escape the snow and come play with us.

Shawna: Absolutely. You all should do this. Um, so I have one last important question cats or dogs.

Monica: Oh, well, you know, i'm a leo girl. So I gotta go for cats.

Shawna: So, sorry our friendship has to end here it has been lovely knowing it's been a good run.

Monica: It has been a good run.

Shawna: Thank you monica. You've been amazing and I certainly appreciate having you just share your brilliance and your timeless wisdom with the listeners out there.

Monica: I appreciate the invitation. It was so awesome to spend this time with you and for everyone listening Great to be a part of your day. And I just thank you so much Shawna. You're amazing.

Shawna: Thank you. Likewise, and I will put your connection info so they can connect with you on linkedin Or they can find out more at soulbare.com But thank you again, and this has been another episode of underestimated. We will see you next time Bye.