You’re Stuck Because Your Task Is Too Big

Introduction

SHAWNA: As a small business owner, have you ever felt completely stuck? Like you just can’t seem to move forward. Maybe you have a big idea, or maybe you have something you know you need to be doing, but you just can’t seem to motivate yourself to get through it — and you don’t know why, and you don’t know how.

Well, I have the perfect guest for you today. Her name is Maren Lafollette. She is a life and business coach, and she’s the founder of The Clarity Buzz. Her specialty is exactly that — helping people get unstuck. Hi, Maren! Thanks for being my guest today.

MAREN: Thanks for having me. This is going to be fun.

SHAWNA: I’ve known Maren for a long time, so we’re just going to have a fun talk. Maren, how did you start The Clarity Buzz? What prompted you to do this?

From Content Creator to Coach

MAREN: The long story short is that for a long time, I thought I was going to have a career in social media — specifically around makeup. That kind of evolved into lifestyle content, and I did run a business doing content full time.

I learned over time that I was really chasing the dollar and not the passion for creating content. When I decided to shut down that business — because it was burning me out — I was left feeling really lost and overwhelmed with the million-dollar question: what am I doing with my life? I’m 26 years old, and the thing I thought I was going to do for the next however many years is no longer my future. I don’t know what my future is now.

I spent a lot of time reflecting on what I enjoy. I tried to look at the people around me and what they were doing to find answers, and I realized that doesn’t work — what other people are doing has no impact on what I should be doing.

I started to realize that there’s no way I’m the only person in her mid-twenties feeling this way — confused about what to do and how to get where she wants to be. That was when I decided I wanted to help other people navigate these uncertain moments and find clarity and passion for what they want to be doing.

SHAWNA: I remember you during that time, and I thought it was remarkable how you were able to pull yourself out of that and have that perspective — which I think a lot of people struggle with. That makes you a great coach, because you’ve been there. You have the gift of “I pulled myself out of this; I know what worked and what didn’t.” So what were some of the things that did work?

The Weekend That Changed Everything

MAREN: Luckily, I have really intelligent grandparents who sat down with me over a weekend. It was basically a life coaching session for an entire weekend.

They sat me at the table and made me write out all the things I love — anything. They gave me ten minutes. I wrote everything I loved on a piece of paper. After that, they walked me through Strengths Finder. I had done the assessment in college, so I had my top five strengths. We pulled those out and started looking at how my passions connect to my strengths — how they can help each other, or sometimes hurt each other.

As we reviewed my list of passions, some of them kept repeating themselves in different words. We started connecting them back to each other. I started to realize I was able to identify the things I value most in my life. That was a huge question that had always given me anxiety. What do I really value?

I started to realize that my biggest value is connection — with myself, with other people, with my friends and family. Through that, I started to reflect on how the things I’ve done have led me to building connections, and how that could lead me down a path of helping more people.

When I was younger, I actually really wanted to be a therapist. I didn’t want to go to school for that long, so I settled for finance — because I also love numbers and math. But I started thinking back to that desire to help people, to talk through issues and help them navigate tough times. That was becoming more and more obvious as I sat looking at this list of things I love, my values, and my strengths.

SHAWNA: I remember when you came out of that period and went back to the same company. The first time around you were unhappy there — what changed? Why did you go back?

Returning to Finance — With New Eyes

MAREN: My mindset changed. I came back committing to actually putting in effort to try. One of the things I really value is problem-solving. It’s like a puzzle to me. I don’t always love being handed a hard task in the moment — but when you find the solution and everything pieces together, it feels so good to have gotten there. And that’s really what my entire job in finance is.

I went in knowing I’m actually very passionate about problem-solving, and that’s what this job is. I committed to doing it well.

SHAWNA: So it was you that changed, not the job. And you also get to work with people directly — you’re not just behind the scenes number-crunching.

MAREN: Right. Most days I’m client-facing, so I get to connect with other people all day. It might be about accounting and finance, but it’s not always strictly that. I get to build relationships with people, and that’s what I love — regardless of the main topic, I still have the opportunity to build a real relationship.

SHAWNA: I love to tell small business owners the same thing. The relationships are so important — let yourself come out; don’t always be a facade of what your job or business is.

Who Maren Coaches

SHAWNA: You’ve decided you’re not the coach for every single person in the world — you work specifically with people in their 20s and 30s who want to get unstuck. Does it get more specific than that?

MAREN: I try to make it more specific some days, because I feel like I’m a little too broad — but I love that I’m not too narrow, because it always comes back to: somebody has something they want to do, and they aren’t doing it. How can I help them?

It can be such a variety of things. I’ve helped people start businesses, get organized in their personal life, change jobs in the corporate world, even become better partners. Anything, really. You want to get from point A to point B, and you either aren’t doing it, or you don’t know how to do it.

SHAWNA: Or both.

MAREN: Or both.

Emotion vs. Value-Based Decision Making

SHAWNA: Talk to me about decision making — emotional versus value-based.

MAREN: I think decision making is the biggest downfall people experience, honestly. We’re so used to making emotion-based decisions — what do I want to do right now, what do I want to do later. That’s the thing that hurts us the most.

It is important to do things you want, but it’s more important to do the things that are right. I don’t want to get up and go to the gym in the morning, but I should — because it’s good for me. It’s not something I necessarily want to be doing, but I know it has a bigger positive impact in the long run.

The same goes for building a business. Do I necessarily want to work on this today? No. But is it going to help me move the needle? Yes. Making decisions that are value-based and purpose-based is very hard. But the more you practice, the more your life becomes rich.

SHAWNA: You said something to me once about having a decision be perfect versus having it just be right for right now. Tell me about that.

MAREN: I’ve really struggled with that. I’m so concerned with making the perfect decision that sometimes it takes me a long time to actually make one. I spend so much time and energy going back and forth — it could be something so small, like do I hang out with this person tonight, do I stay home.

I think the quicker you can make decisions, the more efficient your life becomes. You spend way less energy on decisions that really don’t require a lot of time and energy.

The Task Is Always Too Big

SHAWNA: How much of your coaching is being an accountability partner?

MAREN: A lot. I think one of the greatest things I learned from a coach I hired was: if you’re looking at a task and you’re not doing it, it’s because the task is too big. I love pushing that back onto somebody and then breaking it down.

We break the task into a bunch of small tasks and identify what’s digestible for you within a certain time frame. In the next two weeks, what feels good for you to do? Not overwhelming, not pushing your limits — what can you actually do that still moves the needle and still feels digestible? Then we come back, check off those three to five things, and ask: what’s the next step? How do we break that down into even smaller steps so you actually accomplish them?

SHAWNA: I know for me and so many small business owners — whether we’re solo entrepreneurs or leading a team — it’s not always appropriate to have an employee hold you accountable. I do so much better with an accountability partner, a coach, or a mastermind group. I get stuck myself a lot, or I chase shiny objects and end up doing the wrong things. Tell me about the accountability gap.

Bridging the Accountability Gap

MAREN: Accountability bridges the gap between intention and execution. And motivation? To me, that’s fake news. You can feel motivated for about five minutes, and then you might not feel it again for two weeks. So we come back to value-based decisions — because you aren’t always going to feel motivated, but you know you need to be doing something.

Having accountability, having that external support — it doesn’t even have to be external. It could be a habit tracker. Having something to hold you accountable is going to help you execute.

SHAWNA: And I think that’s so much of the battle for a lot of people listening. Many of us started a business because we didn’t want to work for somebody else. I find myself happiest as a solo entrepreneur, but it’s also the loneliest — there isn’t always someone to hold you accountable. So you build those guardrails for yourself.

One of my accountability partners said the smartest thing recently: “You are most poised to serve the person you once were.” That’s exactly what you’re doing — serving people who feel stuck the way you once felt stuck.

You’re Most Poised to Help Who You Once Were

MAREN: I talked about this a lot with my previous coach. People want to be heard and validated. As a child and young adult, that was something I missed — I desired it but didn’t receive it in the way I wanted to. Coaching gives me the opportunity to hear what people are saying, what they desire, and validate it: this is cool, this is exciting, and you can absolutely do this.

It’s kind of like helping younger Maren. Because I get to validate and help people move forward with the things they want to do.

SHAWNA: I’ve heard it said that we become the parent we wish we had. In business, we try to create the outcome for our customers that we wish somebody had created for us. And you help them get there. There aren’t a lot of coaches who focus on younger people and specifically on getting them unstuck. I love the name The Clarity Buzz — why did you name it that?

The Name: Clarity Buzz

MAREN: My previous coach asked: what do you want people to feel after working with you? The term I kept using was that I wanted people to feel like they were buzzing. You know that feeling when you have an idea and you’re suddenly really excited to get started? You know what to do, and it’s this intoxicating feeling inside — kind of like being drunk, but you’re not.

I wanted people to feel that. Once you have clarity, it allows you to buzz inside. The Clarity Buzz: I want you to buzz from the clarity you receive from working together.

SHAWNA: Like a buzz that helps move you forward. I love it. I just felt that the other day — like I’m on fire, I have clarity. So cool.

Key Takeaway: Get Out of Your Head

SHAWNA: What’s one thing you want people to take away from our conversation today?

MAREN: Things are a hundred times easier when you talk them out loud. Whether that’s by yourself, on paper, or out loud to another person — you need to get out of your head.

It’s so easy to have a thousand thoughts in a minute. Getting them out on paper or speaking them out loud to another person helps you organize those thoughts and find out what’s really important to you right now. From there you can identify: what’s the first step I need to take? And if that step still feels too big, make it smaller.

If your task is “I need to reach out to this restaurant,” but you’re not doing it — maybe the only task right now is to find the email address. Not write the whole email. Just find the address. Once you get your thoughts out, it’s easier to break them down into smaller, digestible tasks. And it’s so much easier when someone is listening and can help sort through things from another perspective.

SHAWNA: Turning the emotional into the logical — and the steps and the process — because the emotion holds a lot of us up. So true.

Connect With Maren

SHAWNA: How can people find you and connect with you?

MAREN: On Instagram, I’m at @TheClarityBuzz. I don’t have a website at the moment, but we’re working on that. Otherwise, my email is maren.lafollette@gmail.com. Instagram and email are the best ways to reach me.

SHAWNA: Very cool. One last very important question — cats or dogs?

MAREN: Dogs. Yes. I do love cats too — but dogs more.

SHAWNA: That’s an acceptable answer! Thank you, Maren. Everyone — check out @TheClarityBuzz on Instagram, reach out to her via email, and especially if you are holding yourself back from who or what you could truly become, get that accountability and reach out. She’s amazing, as you can tell from our conversation today. Thank you, Maren.

MAREN: Thank you.